I am in love again.
Take into account that I am a Mexican woman with the will to write as if you could never guess that whatever language I write in is not my first language. And be gentle enough to interpret any grammar mistake or weird sounding sentence as spice and a reminder that I am.
Back to love,
I am in love with the creative process and everything that comes with being in the middle of it. Even if it feels like drowning at times. I rather drown in it than escape it.
‘‘Escaping is for cowards.’’ I keep telling myself when I want to quit a project or distract from an uncomfortable feeling. Stay, feel, repair, release. It’s fine to be human. Even if it sucks sometimes.
I chose this as my craft, my life and my profession. I remember feeling ridiculous when I dreamt of making a job out of creativity. Then I came to terms with the fact that anything other than that, would be ridiculous indeed. A creative path is my first and only option. Whatever it may look like.
I think it starts there. Creativity looks different for each of us. It includes finding short cuts for our happiness, solutions to our anxieties and tailor made ways to accomplish anything the outer world claps us for. Sneaking in a way to be personally prouder. Because we all know it’s the inner claps we truly long for.
Learning to move in life with who we are in essence is probably my favorite part of the creative process. Might feel like the hardest thing when you feel like you haven’t figured out who or what that is. But keeping an openness to your natural (non curated) likes and inclinations, and a tranquil ego, will make this process easier.
Latching on to this anchored part of yourself will be a crucial part of staying mostly sane during the most turbulent of times. Respecting our core, no matter how cheesy, deep, girly or masculine it might be. Finding the midpoint between our feelings and what we want to turn into facts. And running with it. Creativity and ego are not at feud if you become the willing glue for both of them by juggling when which and how much each.
Creativity, coming from a soft space at times, requires boldness. It requires visiting a specific place of ours in a ritualistic way. To take that time seriously, then become everything but serious while you’re at it. It helps you develop respect for your childish nature and to practice being non judgemental to what comes naturally, not ideally, to you. And no matter how smart you consider yourself to be, to let yourself be informed by the part of you that knows how to be, without your input of how it should be.
I suck at painting realistic figures. I excel at communicating my feelings
I took painting classes at the Art Student’s league in New York last semester. It had for long been a dream of mine and I finally had the chance to walk inside it. I do not drool over my paintings yet. But I keep craving going back to that space where for four hours a day, all that mattered was to make the most of the canvas at hand.
This format simplified my hyperactive brain and dissolved my multitasking cravings. I could ‘‘only paint’’ with my hands. But I was doing so much more by listening to my teacher, making friends with Didi who gifted me gold in watercolor. Leaving a part of my identity at the door and becoming a humble student in the classroom. I was being stimulated in so many ways that now feel like a new unlocked part of my psyche.
I guess this is why I became a nomad in the first place. I kept unlocking parts of my brain, personality and future in different places. Staying in the same place for too long felt like hanging out with the parts I’d already met and practiced there. Now I feel like I’ve gathered enough to decide what to keep. The goal is to be ever evolving, location independent. To remain a nomad in spirit and to let the body rest and settle somewhere. Mexico for now. Maybe New York again tomorrow. I say that but the desire to see and feel new places, keeps boiling like water inside me. I move when it turns into a squeak that says ‘‘MOVE’’ as if it’s urgent. I pray for signs at night and hope to wake up with answers in the morning.
Location decisions are like bets and for now I am practicing being energy savvy until something becomes obvious again.
For now, this weekend’s travel has been inner and mental. I got Rick Rubin’s book The Creative Act: A Way of Being and felt like a baby who found its favorite toy. This topic makes my neurons and spirit fire up in aliveness. This video is a great kickstart into it. I hope it does something similar to you and inspires you in your creative path.
I also found this short film and loved the message in it. The sadness and anxiety in the woman made me think about how crucial it is to value our youth (at whatever age, we’re younger than we’ll be). And maybe that’s part of the antidote for not looking back in resentment or excessive nostalgia in the future.
Plus longer format videos are good for retraining our attention span to longer format in an apparent tik tok world. This is a good practice for any of us looking to finishing what we start. Plus, obviously getting inspired by well done videos like this one. I’m practicing staying in what I’m at when I feel like escaping it for no good reason. Doing this with entertainment and educational videos, helps me do this in my own work and personal rituals. Less escaping and more pretty patience means better relationship to our craft. And that is precisely the first home I want to feel at home at this year.
I hope this letter finds you well and the next one finds you satisfied with your own processes and craft.
With love,
Marguga.
Creativity is the nomad's home
Love the way you describe everything. The willingness to be, letting the words do the talking. My favorite part was this one: " And no matter how smart you consider yourself to be, to let yourself be informed by the part of you that knows how to be, without your input of how it should be." And I also have felt like this before "I suck at painting realistic figures. I excel at communicating my feelings".
Thank you for your words. Have an amazing day 🎨😎
Estoy tan agradecida de haber dado contigo y tus escritos 🤍 es como mirarme en un espejo. Gracias por compartir tanto.