I don’t necessarily enjoy an easy life. I need a good internal challenge from time to time. I heard somewhere that humans need to feel that they are constantly progressing in some area of their life to feel happy and satisfied with themselves. Whatever feels like a challenge at first, eventually becomes your new standard and on we go into another loop of uncomfortable yet energizing exposure therapy until we feel smooth in that topic.
I don’t need an easy life. But I do love a smooth one.
Having a smooth mind and a clear life navigating setting definitely makes it so. I will share with you some ideas that had simplified trouble for me. Challenge and chaos are not the same and to separate the two will spare you some energy draining endeavors. May our troubles feel chosen not something we’re constantly being thrown to be distracted from what’s actually worth engaging in.
These are some ideas that I have identified as truths, but then again; we are each to find ours. So I hope in contrast to these, you might find some of your personal ones.
-DO NOT LET TIMES OF DESPAIR GET THE BEST OF YOU.
We all go through them, a bad breakup, a loss of trust, a threat to your sense of self, a feeling of failure in the things you value, a scary health diagnosis, unmet expectations where you’ve poured a part of your soul into something.
It is only natural to feel like a victim whenever something that feels unfair and unexpected happens, and it is important to feel everything that comes up with it. But it is important to be objective when feelings are taking you places you wouldn’t consciously want to go. Be objective in the dissecting of the information this experience is giving you. And be proactive in what you do with it and how you let it morph into your reality and way of navigating life.
We will forever be met with unexpected situations and it is up to us to decide how we integrate them into our life. Making a bad situation mean something about you and who you are will eventually make you more resentful of yourself rather than what initiated it.
Normalize dictating your life and the way you engage with the way it unfolds. You hold way more power than what you feel when you are feeling despair. Visualize a second brain that sustains a constant and unmovable worth. Recognize your creative will when things are well and hold on to it when things go south. Use your normal life as an evidence of how much you have created and give despair a time frame. See it as a memory that will eventually loose emotional charge and will be remembered with relief of not having held on to it for longer than it needed.
Do not make outer dramas a stable part of your inner environment. Let them go as they come. But keep their lessons permanently. Skip giving second chances to the same case that brought you that despair at first. Never be hit by the same gun twice.
-YOU CAN’T EXPECT FLOWERS TO GROW ON DRY LAND.
If you want a life that is always blooming, you will need to make space and time for that to happen. Going with the rhythm of the world will take you where ‘‘the world’’ is going. And that is rarely the same things you would hand pick. A little time for wholesome, relaxing and inspiring things goes a looong way. And you deserve that time.
You might be experiencing the same world but with a chosen view and personal intentions. And if we are what we put out into the world, what comes into your world will be as good as what you water. Make time and space for the habits and activities that let you spot the synchronicities in your day to day, that make you feel rooted and that keep you connected to your personal inspiration inputs are.
-YOU CAN’T OUT LOVE THE EVIL OR THE HURT OUT OF SOMEONE.
There comes a point in life that you realize people are who they are and even if you can influence them, you can’t change them. Seeing people for who they are, not for who you want to see them as -when you make an idea about them and decide to pour your love into them- will spare you a lot of resentment and drained energy.
Even if you are naturally overly empathetic and feel the impulse to love someone’s complicated traits, they will eventually be directed at you. Of course empathy is to be used but be empathetic with yourself too. When your intuition or observation tell you a person needs healing and they’re not directly asking you for help in it, let them. Let them have their own process and start it when they’re ready and willing.
Having someone express unconditional support and love while they are the ones being affected by these traits or behaviors will rarely trigger them in a serious healing journey.
Maybe no one is completely evil or toxic and they do have some beautiful, intriguing and enjoyable parts to themselves, but if a part of their character or behavior is damaging towards you, do not feel the need to stay and love them until they change it.
You most probably have wounding too, we all do. And if your way of working through it is not damaging towards others, you will find other people who move lovingly with their good, their great and their flawed.
Also, I think being too invested in someone else’s way of functioning is a way to avoid doing our own inner work because in contrast, theirs is ‘‘worse’’.
Let people show you who they are and let yourself choose if you want that to spill on you. And don’t gaslight yourself when prior to engaging with someone you know how that engaging will go. Save your time and put your energy where it will grow and create beautiful things for you and everyone involved.
Just my two cents, would love to read yours. What is one hard truth that acknowledging has made your life smoother?
With love,
-Marguga
Definitely I needed to read this.
Thank you so much Marguga🤍
Definitivamente,no puedo decir que este escrito dejo en mi una gran paz, un peso que he llevado año y meses para comprender.y soltar ciertas cosas, gracias Marguga por tus palabras justas y muy atinadas, mucho más aprendizaje para tu vida para enriquecer la mía 💘